Posts Tagged ‘culture’

Life of Distractions

Posted by Andrew_Cox

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

Over the weekend I was at a rooftop bar people-watching with a group of friends when a guy at the bar caught my attention.  I only listened for a few minutes while I waited for my drink but his central thesis revolved around the idea that professional sports serve as an opiate for the masses and keep people distracted from “living their lives.”  I wish I had asked what he judged as a valuable use of time. He used sports as his example but it got me thinking that you could substitute any type of activity into his argument and say you were living life through distractions.  But if you can argue that being a super fan of a sports team or voting daily for the next American Idol is a waste of time, then what activities aren’t a waste of time?  Who judges what we deem a valid use of our time?  I thought about giving examples of all the different activities that must serve as distractions but I think I can sum it up by saying anything that anyone feels passionately about or spends a majority of their time doing could count by this guy’s definition.
I only asked the bar philosopher one question.  “Wouldn’t you consider work to be another distraction or opiate since people spend the majority of their days at work?”  He resoundingly concurred.  He said most people hate their job and remain in a state of discontentment because, well, doesn’t everybody?  Most people will conform to societal pressures and never venture past their comfort level, he said, because if everyone acted on their impulses all the time the larger society would crumble.  No one would perform the necessary but undesirable work needed to support our modern society.  I understood the point he wanted to convey, but I should have asked him the difference, in his mind, between living a fulfilling life and losing yourself in the “distractions” along the way.  I suspect he wanted to score debate points with his ideas, which have merit, and lead to interesting questions but I think our choices highlight our individuality.
Ultimately, I don’t think anyone can judge our use of time but ourselves.  If you want to spend your time ensuring your lawn looks immaculate, so be it.  If it provides you satisfaction and happiness then why stop?  If hockey consumes your life, you live and breathe the sport, then good for you.  Obviously people will argue with me by questioning how I can say people should just do what makes them happy.  How hedonistic!  What if killing others makes you happy?  I’m not arguing that people should succumb to each and every whim that enters their mind, but I am saying that we should spend less time worrying about how others spend their time or judging their values, and more time focusing on improving ourselves.  Focus on building relationships with the people that matter in your life and not worrying about what others think.  Who cares what the person at the grocery store thinks or the person on the other end of the phone.  It’s not like they are going to come through the phone and hurt you.  Aren’t we all just searching for something that makes us happy?  To balance the requirements of life such as work and family obligations with the selfish pursuits that excite us and provide fulfilment.  No one will remember how many miles you ran a day or what type of car you drove when you die; they will remember what kind of person you were.  Did you help your friends when they needed you?  Were you honest and tolerant of others or were you the first to get upset, the first to try and hurt others for your own gain?  Were you a person other people liked and wanted to spend time with or were you known as a jerk no one could stand?  So focus on actually living your life instead of worrying about what others think or if you’re spending your time wisely because living a life of worry isn’t really living at all.

Just Do It

Posted by Andrew_Cox

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Do you ever experience a moment where you feel as though nothing seems to be working out in your life and you don’t know what to do to make it better?  What if that feeling were to last for weeks, months, or even years?  How can there be people who have never felt satisfied for a majority of their life?  If that’s the case, what has compelled these people to continue down their current path?  Maybe fear of the unknown?  They cannot conceive of anything other than the status quo?  Although they might be miserable in their current situation, at least they can find a small measure of comfort in the familiar and routine.  Right?  This question has come up before many times, applied to many situations.  Why does a person remain in an abusive relationship?  Why do people stay at a job they hate for thirty years?  Why do some people continue to abuse drugs and alcohol at the expense of everything else in their lives until they have nothing and no one left who cares about them?  How does someone get out of seemingly hopeless situations?  Can a reinvention take place in a fraction of a second?  For instance, does the decision to change constitute the beginning of rebirth?  Or does it require more pain and struggle?  Can you only begin to improve yourself once you have hit rock bottom?  Where is rock bottom?  Who measures that?  Or can a conscious decision to change for the better signal the beginning of a new life?  Can the commitment to live each day as if it were your last satisfy the requirements of a successful transformation?  Are all transformations even positive?  How do you maintain momentum?  I believe the solution depends on the person and the circumstances.  For some, they have to destroy their old self before a new person can emerge.  Others might make a much more smooth transition.

U.S. culture has taught society that success is a linear path. Go to school, pay attention, do well, go to a good college, and afterwards, your life will fall into place perfectly.  Once we’ve done that, why should we experience lows when we only deserve the highs?  We are all special.  Everyone has heard and believed the same message regardless of their ability or circumstances.  This mindset has lead to a preposterous belief that we can live uncomplicated, easy lives.  People always seem so surprised when they discover a homeless person and a movie star both feel pain.  Both can have substance abuse problems, problems in their relationships, their careers, or their general mental perspective.

These ideas and questions are important to me but not as important as their answers.  We are all capable of choosing our own path.  Don’t let a misplaced sense of duty, or outright fear keep you from doing what you want to do.  Wouldn’t you rather have the hardship and struggle associated with fighting for what you want rather than struggle for others who don’t appreciate your efforts?  Given the current economic melt down and general uncertainty about the future, most experts are advising people to keep their heads down and ride out this uncertain economic wave before they rock the boat.  I argue that conditions will never be perfect for any decision you wish to make.  Yes, this isn’t the best time to approach your boss and say goodbye, but recognize that nothing lasts forever.  As my father always used to say, anyone can do anything for a year.  Do not hold out for better days or settle for less than you want.  Bold action knows no limits, and men and women of ability won’t compromise their ideals for the whims of others.  Maybe this only works in theory or sounds good on paper but the perfect time to get married, go back to school, or take a vacation will never come.

How do you escape the cycle of unhappiness?  The answer will be different for everyone.  Breaking away from the conformity of the masses serves as a solution to some.  Wouldn’t religion, spirituality or drug use serve as a change for some?  Religion has helped a lot of people for a long time, as many as its hurt probably.  A segment of the U.S. attempted to use drugs as a path to better themselves in the 1960’s.  They tried free love as well.  Both didn’t last.  I want to act.  I won’t passively watch life happen.  I want the courage to do what must be done.  I want to be unrelenting.  I want to become the abstract idea I envision.  I know many others do too.  But how do you start?  Do something, and keep doing until you are on your path and you don’t know anything else.